Oh, communism, grand ideal so bold,
A tale of equality, endlessly told,
But when the state grabs all you own,
You’re left with a tractor and a dial-up phone.
The bread line stretches ‘round the block,
A loaf’s a myth, just tick the clock,
“Share the wealth!” they loudly cheer,
Yet Stalin’s got caviar, and I’ve got no beer.
Innovation? Ha, a rusty dream,
The five-year plan’s a tragic meme,
My comrade naps, I toil away,
Equal reward for unequal play.
The posters scream of worker’s might,
But all I see’s a grayish blight,
One size fits all, from hat to shoe,
I’d rather hoard my capitalist brew.
The party’s fun, or so they say,
A three-hour speech on wheat’s delay,
I’d take a burger, fries, and greed,
Over quotas no one’s ever freed.
So here’s to Marx, that bearded bard,
Whose utopia’s a house of cards,
I’ll keep my stuff, my wild excess,
And laugh at commies in distress!
