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![Have a steamed ham | CHALMERS: WELL, SEYMOUR, I MADE IT... DESPITE YOUR DIRECTIONS.
SKINNER: AH, SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS! WELCOME! I HOPE YOU'RE PREPARED FOR AN UNFORGETTABLE LUNCHEON!
CHALMERS: UHH...
SKINNER: [GASP] OH EGADS, MY ROAST IS RUINED! BUT WHAT IF... I WERE TO PURCHASE FAST FOOD AND DISGUISE IT AS MY OWN COOKING? [TO HIMSELF] OH HO HO HO HO... DELIGHTFULLY DEVILISH, SEYMOUR!
CHALMERS: UH-
[CUE SONG]
SKINNER WITH HIS CRAZY EXPLANATIONS,
THE SUPERINTENDENT'S GONNA NEED HIS MEDICATION,
WHEN HE HEARS SKINNER'S LAME EXAGGERATIONS,
THERE'LL BE TROUBLE IN TOWN TONIGHT!
[END OF SONG]
CHALMERS: SEYMOUR!
SKINNER: SUPERINTENDENT, I WAS JUST, UH... JUST STRETCHING MY CALVES ON THE WINDOWSILL. ISOMETRIC EXERCISE! CARE TO JOIN ME?
CHALMERS: WHY IS THERE SMOKE COMING OUT OF YOUR OVEN, SEYMOUR?
SKINNER: UHH... NO! THAT ISN'T SMOKE. IT'S STEAM. STEAM FROM THE STEAMED CLAMS WE'RE HAVING! MMM... STEAMED CLAMS! [BEAT] OOH...
[A FEW MOMENTS LATER]
SKINNER: SUPERINTENDENT, I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR MOUTHWATERING HAMBURGERS!
CHALMERS: I THOUGHT WE WERE HAVING STEAMED CLAMS.
SKINNER: D'OH, NO. I SAID STEAMED HAMS! THAT'S WHAT I CALL HAMBURGERS!
CHALMERS: YOU CALL HAMBURGERS "STEAMED HAMS?"
SKINNER: YES. IT'S A REGIONAL DIALECT!
CHALMERS: UH-HUH... UH, WHAT REGION?
SKINNER: UHH... UPSTATE NEW YORK?
CHALMERS: REALLY? WELL, I'M FROM UTICA, AND I'VE NEVER HEARD ANYONE USE THE PHRASE "STEAMED HAMS."
SKINNER: OH, NOT IN UTICA, NO. IT'S AN ALBANY EXPRESSION.
CHALMERS: I SEE. [BEAT] YOU KNOW, THESE HAMBURGERS ARE QUITE SIMILAR TO THE ONES THEY HAVE AT KRUSTY BURGER.
SKINNER: OH HO HO HO... NO, PATENTED SKINNER BURGERS. OLD FAMILY RECIPE.
CHALMERS: FOR STEAMED HAMS?
SKINNER: YES.
CHALMERS: YEAH, SO YOU CALL THEM "STEAMED HAMS" DESPITE THE FACT THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY GRILLED.
SKINNER: YE- HEY- YOU KNOW, THE- ONE THING I SHOULD- EXCUSE ME FOR ONE SECOND.
CHALMERS: OF COURSE.
SKINNER: [YAWN] WELL, THAT WAS WONDERFUL. A GOOD TIME WAS HAD BY ALL, I'M POOPED.
CHALMERS: YES, I SHOULD BE- GOOD LORD, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE!?
SKINNER: AURORA BOREALIS?
CHALMERS: UH- AURORA BOREALIS!? AT THIS TIME OF YEAR, AT THIS TIME OF DAY, IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY, LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR KITCHEN!?
SKINNER: YES!
CHALMERS: MAY I SEE IT?
SKINNER: NO.
SKINNER'S MOTHER: SEYMOUR, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!
SKINNER: NO, MOTHER—IT'S JUST THE NORTHERN LIGHTS!
CHALMERS: WELL, SEYMOUR, YOU ARE AN ODD FELLOW, BUT I MUST SAY... YOU STEAM A GOOD HAM.
SKINNER'S MOTHER: HELP! HELP! | image tagged in have a steamed ham | made w/ Imgflip meme maker](http://i.imgflip.com/753teg.jpg)
