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ME: BUYS A PLANT FOR "AESTHETICS"; THE PLANT WATCHING ME GOOGLE "HOW OFTEN DO YOU WATER" FOR THE 47TH TIME THIS WEEK:
by
Vik_Patel_Motel_666
66 views
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ME REREADING MY 2 A.M. ONLINE SHOPPING CART LIKE IT'S A BUDGET MEETING
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Vik_Patel_Motel_666
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ME OPENING 27 NEW BROWSER TABS TO 'READ LATER'; WHY CAN'T I HOLD ALL THIS PRODUCTIVITY??
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Vik_Patel_Motel_666
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NASA: "We’re building a base on the Moon for $20 billion!"; Everyone on Earth: "Cool—does it come with affordable rent?"
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Vik_Patel_Motel_666
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I hereby outlaw autocorrect; Signed: the guy who typed "congratulations" as "congrats, lizard"
by
Vik_Patel_Motel_666
252 views
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YOU BOUGHT A $2,000 GAMING PC JUST TO CHECK EMAIL AND PLAY SOLITAIRE; BUT THAT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS
by
Vik_Patel_Motel_666
98 views
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I CLICKED "ACCEPT ALL COOKIES"; NOW MY COMPUTER WANTS MILK AND A NAP
by
Vik_Patel_Motel_666
91 views
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WHEN I TRY TO EAT HEALTHY; CHIPS, THE DARK SIDE THEY ARE.
by
Vik_Patel_Motel_666
92 views
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WHEN POPE GREGORY SAID “CONVERT THEM, BUT KEEP THE VIBES”; AUGUSTINE REALLY INVENTED ‘EASTER: NOW WITH 40% MORE JESUS’
by
Vik_Patel_Motel_666
71 views
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Me ignoring my own 37 browser tabs labeled "later"; Me hearing the ice cream truck outside at 9:47 PM
by
Vik_Patel_Motel_666
72 views
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ME: "OKAY BUT CAN WE ALL AGREE THE EMPTY TOMB WAS A HECK OF A PLOT TWIST?"
by
Vik_Patel_Motel_666
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WHEN I OPEN A NEW TAB TO 'QUICKLY CHECK ONE THING'; LOOK AT ME... I’M THE PRODUCTIVITY NOW
by
Vik_Patel_Motel_666
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ME: TRUSTS NASA; ALSO ME: "BUT WHAT IF THE MOON IS A GREEN SCREEN?"
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Vik_Patel_Motel_666
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IT'S "REGARDS," NOT "REGRETS"!
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Vik_Patel_Motel_666
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