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copypasta

copypasta | STRUGGLING TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE HARSH DEPARTURE FROM HIS MORNING ROUTINE, LOCAL MAN MICHAEL SIMPSON REPORTEDLY FACED THE GRIM REALITY TUESDAY THAT HE WOULD HAVE TO LEAVE HIS WARM SHOWER TO RETRIEVE THE FACE WASH HE LEFT ON THE SINK. ACCORDING TO SOURCES, SIMPSON, ALREADY DRIPPING WET AND COVERED IN SUDS, SPENT THE MOMENTS AFTER HIS SOBERING CONCLUSION SEARCHING IN VAIN FOR THE BOTTLE OF CERAVE ALONG THE SHOWER’S SHELF BEFORE FINALLY ADMITTING TO HIMSELF THAT HE WOULD HAVE TO MAKE THE PERILOUS JOURNEY ACROSS THE BATHROOM’S COLD FLOOR TO RETRIEVE THE CLEANSER. THE 27-YEAR-OLD THEN REPORTEDLY STRUGGLED TO MAKE PEACE WITH THE GRAVITY OF HIS SITUATION, WHICH WOULD REQUIRE HIM TO NOT ONLY CROSS THE FIVE-FOOT EXPANSE TO THE SINK WITHOUT SLIPPING, BUT, IN ALL LIKELIHOOD, ALSO LEAVE SEVERAL SMALL PUDDLES ON THE TILE FLOOR. SOURCES CONFIRMED THAT SIMPSON EVEN CONSIDERED USING BAR SOAP ON HIS FACE TO ESCAPE HIS CRUEL FATE BEFORE ADMITTING TO HIMSELF THAT IT WOULD CAUSE HIM TO BREAK OUT AND ACCEPTING HIS DIRE PREDICAMENT. AT PRESS TIME, SIMPSON’S REALIZATION THAT THE BOTTLE ON THE SINK WAS COMPLETELY EMPTY HAD PROMPTED HIM TO GRAPPLE WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT HE WOULD HAVE TO RUN OVER TO THE PHARMACY COMPLETELY WET AND NAKED TO BUY MORE. | image tagged in copypasta | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

by SpaceFanatic

137 views, 3 upvotes

New template. I had to fix the name

New template. I had to fix the name | image tagged in copypasta | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

by anonymous

131 views, 8 upvotes