Religion can be used for evil. It seems you believe that this life is all there is. Jesus Christ did live as a man, was tortured and died, and came to life again- not to start another religion, but renew a broken relationship. You very obviously recognize the many unspeakable evils in this world. The wars in the Middle East and Ukraine, and so many others. Is it so difficult to believe in an ultimate good when we see so many horrific and evil occurrences surrounding us?