You've got at least $310 in there.

This is why you should not allow babies to use the Internet. I don't kids should be allowed to watch any television or operate any computer, tablet or smartphone until they're at least six years old.

Yes, I did.

Some of them start pushing Halloween goods the day after the Fourth of July.

That's what happens when you don't cut off power to the switch at the circuit breaker box. I'm amazed that guy's still alive.