I don't know if I should be happy that he's getting more money, impressed that the tooth fairy wants to get as much done as possible in one visit, or scared that this will be a painful experience for him.

Yes, many times.

That's a great point to make.

"Please do not come within 100 miles of our university."

That's kind of harsh. If you don't want them to attend classes at Harvard, fine, but do you have to tell them to stay that far away from university property?

"You are the worst applicant we have seen in all of our history as a school."

I wish job application rejection letters were that honest.

You've figured out their strategy perfectly.