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[deleted]
9 ups, 2y,
7 replies
Okay people, sit your [REDACTED] down and shut your pie holes. I’ve got places to go and people more important than you to see, because I happen to be a scientist and we scientists have a tendency to be very busy and important people. If you’re out there in the folding chairs, that means that you're the new guys. Bottom of the totem pole. But, it also means that you passed the entrance exams. Welcome to the SPC. From this moment onward, your job is very, very simple: you are going to punch sharks.

In the face.

You will punch sharks. When not punching sharks, you will be planning on punching sharks. You will be developing new ways to punch sharks. You will read about punching sharks. You will write about punching sharks. You will study punching sharks. You will dream about punching sharks. You will jump the shark. You will collect and contain paranormal objects, and then use them to beat up sharks.

Punching sharks is your life.

You may be asking yourself “Self, how am I to punch these sharks?” With your fists.

And you may ask yourself “Self, what if I am bitten by a shark? I am unsure of what to do.” Go see an alchemist.

And you may say to yourself “Self, my teeth have become shark-like, in the sense that they have all turned into sharks!” Good, now start punching them.

It’s an important job, mark my words. There are people out there, many people who just don’t understand why. They don’t realize how important our job is. You will be challenged, you will be mocked, you will be insulted, but you cannot lose sight of the goal: your fist in a shark's face.

Several years ago, a former employee asked me “Why do we punch sharks?” You know what I said to him?

“Sir, do you hate science? Are you a science-hating shark-hugger? Do you approve of the non-science shark agenda?" He said no, he wasn’t.

I punched him in the face anyway, because he was clearly a closet shark. Because that’s what we f**king do at the SPC.

When you all came in here, there was a copy of Sun Tzu’s The Art of Punching Sharks on your chair. You are all to have read that by the time you report in tomorrow morning. Now get out of here. Those sharks aren’t going to punch themselves.

Because they don’t have hands.
5 ups, 2y
made w/ Imgflip meme maker
3 ups, 2y,
1 reply
It smells like bitch in here blank template | SMELLS LIKE COPY AND PASTE HERE | image tagged in it smells like bitch in here blank template | made w/ Imgflip meme maker
[deleted]
1 up, 2y,
1 reply
maybe because it is?
1 up, 2y,
1 reply
Yes
1 up, 2y
agreed: ctrl c + ctrl v
1 up, 2y,
1 reply
Bruh this shark's like a dog. The guy literally tamed a SHARK. They formed a bond. Its wholesome; y u dissing it?
[deleted]
0 ups, 2y,
1 reply
0 ups, 2y
I dont c anybody punching sharks on fishing shows, just saying
0 ups, 2y,
2 replies
shut up
1 up, 2y
[deleted]
1 up, 2y,
4 replies
0 ups, 2y,
1 reply
Who the hecc has the time to read all this?
[deleted]
0 ups, 2y
you do
i do
everyone does
0 ups, 2y
Bruh this is spam
0 ups, 2y,
1 reply
TLDR
[deleted]
0 ups, 2y
what are you doing that needs you not to read 10:30AM
0 ups, 2y,
1 reply
ctrl c + ctrl v AGAIN
[deleted]
0 ups, 2y,
1 reply
well duh
0 ups, 2y
O i just found out the article's an April Fools joke nvm. So i dont need 2 punch a shark unless it's attacking me & not if i catch it.
[deleted]
0 ups, 2y
0 ups, 2y,
1 reply
where the frick did you get this lmao
[deleted]
0 ups, 2y,
1 reply
https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/10-30-a-m
0 ups, 2y,
1 reply
1 up, 2y,
1 reply
Monke
0 ups, 2y,
1 reply
1 up, 2y,
1 reply
Monke see monke kill
0 ups, 2y,
1 reply
1 up, 2y,
1 reply
What da monke doin?
0 ups, 2y
0 ups, 2y,
1 reply
[deleted]
0 ups, 2y,
1 reply
im a dude
say grandpa
0 ups, 2y
4 ups, 2y,
1 reply
im doubting the truth behind this pls show me source
4 ups, 2y
Sharks actually aren't very aggressive to humans, just as long as you don't act like a fish. However this article is an april fools joke. Sharks however are still quite intelligent and can be very cute (when they don't kill fish)
[deleted]
3 ups, 2y,
2 replies
I love sharks.

Also this is possible, you have to raise them from a young age and be with them quite frequently, in other words, sharks are like water dogs.

Pros and cons of having a shark:

Cons:
They can and will attack you if you annoy them to an extent.
They can get quite large so you need an area they can swim around in
Their diets are specific. Again, like dogs, will eat a lot but they are still fussy
Compatibility with younger children is low
Pros:
No one will f**k wit' you
You have an attack animal
Every 5 year old will never come within 120 feet of you
You have a pet
[deleted]
3 ups, 2y
I'm sorry I had to state that
0 ups, 2y,
2 replies
It is good to see that there are other people who actually know and love sharks. To thank you for sharing your knowledge i will upvote every meme you have ever made. Sharks are the best!
[deleted]
0 ups, 2y
also, you get a follow!
[deleted]
0 ups, 2y
Hehe^^
3 ups, 2y
Dude has a pet shark
2 ups, 2y,
2 replies
The story is fake. It started out as an April Fools joke, but people took it seriously.
2 ups, 2y
Correct, from 2006, a French Fishing magazine April fools joke to be exact.
https://www.reuters.com/article/uk-factcheck-fisherman-hoax-shark-april-idUSKBN26Y2Q9
0 ups, 2y,
1 reply
Proof?
0 ups, 2y,
2 replies
Google "arnold pointer shark story" and click around (as I did).
I'll let you do your own research and decide for yourself if you think it's real or not.
0 ups, 2y
Ok
0 ups, 2y,
1 reply
I did some research and i dont see any credible resources on any of the website
0 ups, 2y,
1 reply
What credible sources claim the story is real?
0 ups, 2y
Twist the story never existed
[deleted]
2 ups, 2y
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