I'm sorry again for giving you so much to read, if you don't care and move on that's fine...
But below this reply... I really mean it bro. I'm sorry if i've ever misjudged you.
Maybe a bit of both, maybe neither. I think I realize i don't entirely know enough about who you really are to say.
Sorry about the yapping, but read this or not, I want to be completely honest how I feel:
My thoughts you that were a huge jerk for no reason apparent to me... Forgive me if some of these aren't accurate, it's been a long time. But from what I remember...
- You constantly fought with Sylc.
- You helped her harass a new user for 'being annoying'.
- You went back on your promise to not cause trouble during the little 'civil war' between the stream and her that you wouldn't keep doing it after Uni convinced me to give you a chance and let you into the safe space I built.
- You basically spat in my face and crashed out at me the last time I tried to show sympathy for your pain, when your grandmother passed, all because I said something that contradicted your faith (which I apologize for now, it was something personal I should've taken that consideration... I really just wanted to show that I cared, instead I upset you.)
- I greeted you whenever you came back here, and genuinely missed you when during the time you were gone...
- And even now, here you are telling me and everyone else to just give up on a good time we've made, saying it'll 'help us grow'. Growth is not forgetting the past, it's remembering what we did wrong and right, seeing how different we were back then from how we are today. And I can say my experiences in this place and beyond have changed me a lot. I am not doing anything wrong, just trying to appreciate what I didn't back then and maybe have the hope that something even slightly like it can exist once again. In my eyes, you have come here only to mock us, to destroy something personal to me by telling me to forget about my roots entirely, no matter what way you try to spin it to make it seem like you mean well, there's nothing positive about that, while I have a suspicion you were not well-meaning, i'll hold off on making it a conclusion.
...And after all that? I don't hate you, I never did even during the rare times I was pissed at you, I did my best to have temperance and remain polite. I still think I can be a friend and a brother to you, whether that makes me a naive dumba$$ or not... Now I've realized it's partially on me for never bothering to reach out and let us get to know eachother's stories personally. Friendship is best built on understanding. So what do you say, DMs...?
I already have grown, and I don't see that you have very much since last I met you.
It's not about this place even, it's about the feelings it gave us. Or atleast me, the memories made, the friends I still have to this day, the knowledge it will never be the same as it was... It may not have meant anything to you, but it does me.
I can reminisce and renaissance about it as I please, I can want to feel that again and still grow as a person, but what you are NOT gonna do is laugh at us for it try to say that we can't try to make something new and beautiful out of what I still have of this place. There is absolutely nothing positive or 'growing' about that, don't you think?
I do accept that, but that doesn't give you any say over whether we enjoyed the past or not. Nor does it make us wrong to want to keep what we have alive.
