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Not to mention the fact that the neighbor is twice his size

Not to mention the fact that the neighbor is twice his size | MY WIFE SAID I SHOULD BE MORE LIKE MR. JONES NEXT DOOR. HOW'S THAT?
SHE SAYS THAT EVERY MORNING WHEN HE LEAVES FOR WORK, HE GIVES HIS WIFE A BIG KISS.

SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM

I JUST COULDN'T. I BARELY EVEN KNOW THE WOMAN. | image tagged in marriage,kissing,memes,diner of despair | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

by anonymous

2,246 views, 58 upvotes, 19 comments

The Diner of Despair discusses Witnesses

The Diner of Despair discusses Witnesses | DID YOU EVER NOTICE WHAT THE TOP THREE THINGS ARE THAT NEED WITNESSES? NO. WHAT ARE THEY? CRIMES, ACCIDENTS, AND MARRIAGES; IS IT ME, OR DO YOU NOTICE A TREND HERE? | image tagged in diner of despair,witnesses,marriage,crime,accidents | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

by anonymous

337 views, 7 upvotes, 2 comments

Do exactly what she says, and you're still in the wrong

Do exactly what she says, and you're still in the wrong | I ASKED MY WIFE WHAT SHE WANTED FOR HER BIRTHDAY. SHE SAID NOTHING WOULD MAKE HER HAPPIER THAN A DIAMOND NECKLACE, SO THAT'S WHAT I GOT HER; YOU GOT YOUR WIFE A DIAMOND NECKLACE FOR HER BIRTHDAY? NO. I GOT HER NOTHING, AND NOW I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY SHE'S SO MAD AT ME. | image tagged in diner of despair,marriage,birthday,memes,present | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

by anonymous

400 views, 7 upvotes, 1 comment

I have a daughter like his wife

I have a daughter like his wife | YEAH, MY WIFE IS A GOOD LOOKER. YA GOTTA BE CAREFUL ABOUT THAT TYPE; HOW'S THAT? EVERY TIME WE GO OUT, SHE'S DRESSED TO KILL. SO? WHEN WE STAY IN, SHE COOKS THE SAME WAY. | image tagged in marriage,dressed to kill,cooking,diner of despair,memes | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

by anonymous

469 views, 6 upvotes, 5 comments

You'd never expect this guy to talk about following his dreams

You'd never expect this guy to talk about following his dreams | WHY IS IT PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS. THEY NEVER SAY FOLLOW YOUR AMBITIONS. ??? A GOOD EXAMPLE: LAST NIGHT I DREAMT I WORKED FOR A COMPANY THAT WAS GENETICALLY ENGINEERING DUCKS TO SPEAK ENGLISH. WE SUCCEEDED, BUT ALL THE DUCKS EVER WANTED TO DO WAS CRITICIZE PEOPLE'S FASHION SENSE. YOU NEED TO FOLLOW YOUR DREAM. | image tagged in tavern discussion,dreams,hopes,diner of despair | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

by anonymous

502 views, 2 upvotes

Diner of despair. Who's the daddy

by anonymous

513 views, 1 upvote