I ASKED MY WIFE WHAT SHE WANTED FOR HER BIRTHDAY. SHE SAID NOTHING WOULD MAKE HER HAPPIER THAN A DIAMOND NECKLACE, SO THAT'S WHAT I GOT HER; YOU GOT YOUR WIFE A DIAMOND NECKLACE FOR HER BIRTHDAY? NO. I GOT HER NOTHING, AND NOW I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY SHE'S SO MAD AT ME.