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I'm The Captain Now

One Does Not Simply

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You're crazy! Anyway, it's been exactly 12 minutes since you've last fed me. I'm about to die of starvation.

by AllaxNoFake

126,887 views, 770 upvotes, 109 comments

Apple just wants money. They're Mr. Krabs Jr., if you will.

by AllaxNoFake

70 views, 1 upvote

The gang's all here!

by AllaxNoFake

303 views, 9 upvotes, 3 comments

Who the hell names their kid Bobert?

by AllaxNoFake

2,032 views, 8 upvotes, 2 comments

Friendly reminder: Be ANYONE but the teacher's pet.

by AllaxNoFake

959 views, 8 upvotes

Ahh, December. The worst month to be a retail worker.

by AllaxNoFake

1,935 views, 4 upvotes, 1 comment

Then they turn into pottymouths, as they say.

by AllaxNoFake

360 views, 4 upvotes

I love you, pops. :)

by AllaxNoFake

206 views, 1 upvote, 1 comment

Do they know?

by AllaxNoFake

676 views, 2 upvotes, 2 comments

They got what they asked for.

by AllaxNoFake

1,073 views, 9 upvotes, 1 comment

Ahh, the beauty of self-deprecation.

by AllaxNoFake

2,085 views, 1 upvote

Who even does that?!

by AllaxNoFake

267 views, 1 upvote

Work dumber, not smarter.

by AllaxNoFake

370 views, 2 upvotes

He's probably posting one right now.

by AllaxNoFake

249 views, 1 upvote