TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES CAN ACTUALLY BE USED AS A CALENDAR; "When I was your age, April O'Neal was a white, red-headed woman who worked as a news reporter!"; "Really? Today April O'Neal is a 700lbs, black, trans-male, illegal immigrant influencer who flies in a magic wheelchair called Black Victory!"; HOW MUCH THE LIBERALS SCREW UP APRIL O'NEAL TELLS YOU THE YEAR YOU'RE IN