I would have to ask: for #5, who would you consider as the closest thing to Imgflip God? Because there's going to be different opinions between the Imgflip veterans like you and me, the newer adult users, and the kids.
Completely agree on the upvoting comments thing. It irritates me to no end when you can't be bothered to upvote comments. They're free after all, why be stingy? Also, if you don't upvote comments, I'm just not motivated to interact with you. I realize it shouldn't be all about collecting the points, but it feels awesome to collect a whole bunch of them.
I get being depressed and suicidal as a teen, I went through that phase myself as a teen. Even tried to hang myself a couple of times. However, I changed some of my habits, got away from my parents, and grew out of that chemical imbalance. I would say to those going through the emo phase to go outside, skip school, and find something to enjoy in life. If someone is truly feeling depressed and looking to change it, I'm willing to talk them through it and try and get them on the right path. However, saying you're going to kill yourself just for the attention you might get is a slimiest things you can do.