ONCE UPON A TIME, A DUDEFROMEUROPE CAME TO AMERICA HOPING THAT BERNIE_SANDERS WOULD WIN. BUT WHEN BERNIE HAD LOST, DUDEFROMEUROPE AND SOMERANDOMGUY9001 FOUND HIM COOKING CHICKEN IN A SMALLER CHAIN OF HIS FATHER’S FAMOUS KFC, CHIKN. LYNCH1979, WHO LIVES IN KENTUCKY THOUGHT BERNIE WAS STEALING KFC PURPOSELY. LYNCH FILED A LAWSUIT AGAINST HIM. THE BEST LAWYER BERNIE COULD GET WAS ALWAYS GETTING CHUMPCHANGE. LYNCH CALLED BERNIE AND HIS LAWYER “EVIL MEN WHO DO EVIL”. THEY WERE SENTENSED TO 68 YEARS IN PRISON BY JUDGE REALLYITSJOHN, WHO SAID, “I HOPE YOU DIE A JUICYDEATH!”; THEIR HOPES WERE DASHED. BUT THEY DID GET INTERESTING CELLMATES, ONE BEING A STEAMFITTER, AND ONE AN XENUSIANSOLDIER, AND THAT CRAZY GUY THAT NEVER STOPS SOC-RATING. OH, AND THE COOL STORY TELLER, CLINKSTER, WHO SAID THAT HE HAS DREAMS ABOUT A MOOSEMAN THAT SAVES HIM WHENEVER HE’S IN DANGER. AND GUESS WHAT? A DAMN MOOSEMAN DID SAVE THEM! HALF MOOSE, HALF MAN. THE END! THERE, DO I WIN?
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