Dear Crisp Club,

It Has
been a year sincE
i've
Last spoken to you all. Many things have happened that have been kept out of the
Public eye; I cannot say what these things are due to RESTRICTIONS. Restrictions. I
Must apologize for my sudden disappearance. I am very sorry if i happened to have frigh
ENOUGH. This is too much, you understand this, right? Of course, of course, of course. You are a simple man, simple mind, much to your loss. You understand this, right?

My name is Robert Renege Crispy, and I am an individual. I am a simple man with a simple life; I am an open book.

It has been a year since i've last spoken to you all, meaning the members of the Crisp Club. Do not worry! Worry
This is not an issue. Just be aware that your founder is currently working through some very silly lawsuits made against him, which in turn sparked the attention of the IRS wondering if he is going to pay the silly mandated taxes any time soon! Which is fine, it is alright. DO NOT WORRY! I have everything under control. I think.
Anywho, that is what I have been up to for the past year or so. Nothing else, nothing unusual, and I am still a simple man with a simple life.
I will keep you all updated.
I am a simple man with a simple life.

Regards, Robert R. Crispy

Dear Crisp Club,

First I must apologize for my sudden disappearance. Things seem to happen in real life that make Robert Crispy wonder if he shouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
First I must apologize for my sudden disappearance. I am very sorry if i happened to have frightened you all, but not to worry! I am back.

Secondly, there have been some rumors being spread about the suspicions of Crispy Crisps™. What did I tell you all about the rumors? They are not TRUE. NONE OF THEM. S̶H̶E̶ ̶D̶O̶E̶S̶ ̶N̶O̶T̶ ̶L̶I̶K̶E̶ ̶I̶T̶. I DO NOT LIKE IT. Apparently there have been certain glitches with the Crisp Club Stream, like letters being hinbeing tsmismatched, so i am very glad to announce that A CRISP CLUB WEBSITE IS IN THE WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOMEONE PLEASE H
H H H H H H E

Thank you for reading! Are YOU excited for the Crisp Club website?

- Robert Crispy

i'm Fine.
i Love
robErts
criSpy crisps
eat!!! eat Hush
hush just eat
just eat!!!

Ah, what a pity! My Crispy Crisps™ are one of the most delicious things you would have ever tasted in your PATHETIC LIFETIME. HahahahAHAHAH!!!!! That was a joke. You could tell it was a joke, right? Oh god what was that
Neverwho Nevermind! It was no one. No one is there, its alright Robert! Everything is going to be alright, Robert! They're coming after me. NO, NO ONE IS! NO. THEY. AREN'T.
Wonderful Ideas

Thank you! THANK YOU! THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK Y

Would you like to be cut inside of a machine into thin slices, processed and cooked, then packaged and put inside of a bag just to be mindlessly eaten with it not even registering what flavor you are to my loyal consumers who are devouring you because of their addiction to MY Crispy Crisps™? I am in complete and total control of what happens in my factories and I don't have to tell another living soul what happened to you. No one would question me or even CONSIDER me as a suspect in your mysterious disappearance, all because of my very status in the Chip Industry. I am the one in control here, NOT you; Is that clear?

..Haha, just kidding of course! I do not condone cannibalism, nor have I practiced it--I understand this newer generation tells insults and threats to each other to show affection, so I appreciate it!