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and it is a rough bit to grip the wheel with a scotch and soda in hand | WHEN I CAME OVER TO NEW YORK FROM BRITAIN I DECIDED THE BEST WAY TO SEE THE OLD COLONIES WAS TO DRIVE TO LOS ANGELES; I ONLY HAD THREE ACCIDENTS WHICH IS DECENT ENOUGH CONSIDERING I WAS ON THE LEFT HAND SIDE THE WHOLE WAY | image tagged in drinking englishman,memes,british,driving | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

and it is a rough bit to grip the wheel with a scotch and soda in hand

and it is a rough bit to grip the wheel with a scotch and soda in hand | WHEN I CAME OVER TO NEW YORK FROM BRITAIN I DECIDED THE BEST WAY TO SEE THE OLD COLONIES WAS TO DRIVE TO LOS ANGELES; I ONLY HAD THREE ACCIDENTS WHICH IS DECENT ENOUGH CONSIDERING I WAS ON THE LEFT HAND SIDE THE WHOLE WAY | image tagged in drinking englishman,memes,british,driving | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

1,330 views, 18 upvotes, 21 comments

can't outrun a turtle, can't outfox a fox

can't outrun a turtle, can't outfox a fox | A FOX CAUGHT A WILY RABBIT AND WAS ABOUT TO MAKE HIM HIS MEAL; THE RABBIT THOUGHT HE DETECTED A WAY OUT AND SAID "GO AHEAD AND EAT ME, BUT PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T THROW ME IN THE BRIAR PATCH!"; "ANYTHING BUT THE BRIAR PATCH!" BUT THE FOX WAS CONFUSED FOR HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT A BRIAR PATCH WAS; SO HE ATE THE RABBIT!!! | image tagged in drinking englishman,memes,rabbit,fox,tall tale,bad joke | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

1,155 views, 14 upvotes, 19 comments

cocktails may have been involved

cocktails may have been involved | TWO MEN WHO WERE NEW TO AN AIRLINE WERE IN THE COCKPIT OF A JUMBO JET WENT IT STARTED A STEEP PLUNGE; ONE TURNED TO THE OTHER AND SAID "HOW DO YOU LAND THIS THING?" TO WHICH THE OTHER REPLIED "ME?!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE PILOT!"; THE NEWLY-MINTED PILOT THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT THEN SAID "WELL I'LL HAVE A GO AT IT IF YOU HEAD BACK TO THE PASSENGER CABIN AND LEAD THE HYMNS!" | image tagged in drinking englishman,airplane,flying,pilot,memes | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

1,013 views, 12 upvotes, 6 comments

oh the arrogance of the white gods

oh the arrogance of the white gods | A MISSIONARY WAS CAPTURED BY HEADHUNTERS AND SCHEDULED TO DIE; THE PREACHER KNEW A SOLAR ECLIPSE WAS TO OCCUR THAT DAY AND THOUGHT THAT IF HE CONVINCED THE PRIMITIVE TRIBE IT WAS HIS MAGIC HE MIGHT ESCAPE, SO HE ASKED WHAT TIME HE WAS TO BE EXECUTED; THE CHIEFTAIN REPLIED: "LATER THIS AFTERNOON, ABOUT 30 MINUTES AFTER THE ECLIPSE"! | image tagged in drinking englishman,memes,tall tale | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

1,851 views, 11 upvotes, 5 comments

once again war makes for a tragicomic tale

once again war makes for a tragicomic tale | BEFORE A YOUNG MAN WENT OFF TO THE GREAT WAR HIS AGED MOTHER GAVE HIM A BLESSED MEDALLION TO WEAR OVER HIS HEART FOR PROTECTION; ONE MORNING WHILE THE CORPORAL WAS ON WATCH IN THE TRENCHES IN FRANCE, A GERMAN SNIPER SHOT RANG OUT; LOOKING DOWN HE REALIZED THE BULLET HAD INDEED STRUCK THE MEDALLION; UNFORTUNATELY FOR THE POOR LAD HE HAD BEEN SHOT IN THE BACK! | image tagged in drinking englishman,memes,world war i,soldier,irony | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

860 views, 12 upvotes, 12 comments

or longer if the alcohol preserves him well

1,842 views, 11 upvotes, 9 comments

promiscuous crones living in footwear collecting state pensions - scandalous!

3,615 views, 13 upvotes, 20 comments

yeah it's stupid, but it's Rudyard Kipling stupid

1,300 views, 10 upvotes, 13 comments

needless to say, it's name wasn't Rover

775 views, 10 upvotes, 14 comments

but he understood enough to whinny and stomp the little sucker for mocking him

787 views, 10 upvotes, 8 comments

so get drunk and ignore your pension because you might just end up an icicle

1,074 views, 9 upvotes, 10 comments

apparently the beast has thumbs to tweet with too

743 views, 9 upvotes, 5 comments

and thus another theological question solved over a meal

1,435 views, 7 upvotes, 6 comments

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287 views, 6 upvotes, 2 comments