I think what you consider "strawmanny" is me being sarcastic. Sorry, but sometimes I can't help myself when the reality of a situation is simply bizarre.
The real strawman is that everyone would be better off going to college, or that it's some kind of human right. If we were intentional, we'd use this so-called crisis to explain to people that it's perfectly fine to go to a trade school, or go straight into working, or starting a business after high school. Historically in this country (also currently) we are brimming with people who are wildly successful without having gone to college. If someone wants to go to college, that's great. I'm all for higher education. I believe in it strongly. But that doesn't mean it's for everyone, or that everyone has a right to higher education at the expense of others.
"We pay off other people's debts and costs all the time."
But that doesn't make it right. Also, not apples to apples with those examples, imo. One might be able to draw some kind of logical comparison to the bank bailouts, but the scale is so completely asymmetrical (large corporations vs. individuals) that imo it would be a painfully thinly stretched comparison. The other three examples are of of entitlements, not voluntarily assumed debt. So, they're not in the same ballpark as the govt using my and other taxpayers' money to pay off a personal debt that someone voluntarily / legally obligated themselves to pay in exchange for money they used for a personal purpose. It's that simple.
It actually doesn't really matter what the money they received was used for. It could be for a car, to pay off a credit card bill, or any other personal monetary debt. Would we expect the govt to pay off our car loans, or our credit card debt? Hardly. Nobody was forced to take the money and nobody should be forced to pay off someone else's debt.
In trying to figure out any other motive for this than vote buying, I realized that even Biden probably doesn't truly care whether this scheme works out or not. Sure, he keeps paying the issue lip service, but I think that's just to keep up appearances for the load of socialist whackos in his party. He knows it does nothing but piss off a lot of people, even in his own party, so he won't die on this hill. Just my $0.02 worth of political analysis. Hell, it's probably not even worth that much.