I feel you on this one, and many of the aforementioned reasons that you just stated is the reason why I'm an exclusively SFW-only furry, and also one that practices self-control and is very selective with picking friends and associates in the furry fandom.
I hate to sound like a preacher (because no one likes it when they get preached at and get told what to do) but maybe you should become an exclusively SFW-only furry like me and also become more selective with who you associate with as a furry in terms of friends so that your friends more closely align with your interests and values. Shun the ones that give you death threats in the DMs or send you yiff and gore without exception, and make clear your SFW boundaries at first contact when making new friends at introductions.
I hope this advice helps you. I understand your predicament, and I hope it gets better from here.
