If anyone wants to know what the newspaper actually says, here:
The other day I walked into my bedroom and glanced over into the corner, where my desk is supposed to be, and it wasn't there. My wife had evidently been rearranging the furniture again. She does that periodically, although I've told her over and over that if God had wanted her to move furniture he would have given her a hairy chest and ???? that wouldn't stay up is back...
