Dang son, you got nads! "911, yeah, I need a medic, STAT.. yeah, some libtard Antifa asshole mistook me for a genuine USA tax paying citizen and broke my neck, gutted my intestines with a rusty lawn mower blade, and caved my skull in with a cinder block.. could you send a snowflake out to medicate me please? Whut?
What's that?? Nahh... no problem! I'm still CONSCIOUS after that assault.. Whut? Sure! Just send an ambulance whenever it is convenient.. Alexandria Occasional Cortex will pay for it with her rent money while we wait for the Green Deal to kick in.."