Or just blame the car. People are not responsible for their actions, the inanimate objects in their possession are. Most likely your car is an automatic rather than a manual stick shift so your car is an "assault car" and is inherently evil and should be banned.
COP: "GOOD AFTERNOON. YOU WERE GOING A LITTLE FAST BACK THERE"; ME: "THANK YOU FOR BRINGING THIS TO MY ATTENTION; I WILL CONDUCT AN INTERNAL INVESTIGATION AND DETERMINE IF THERE WAS ANY WRONG DOING"