Sorry to hear that bro, I wouldn't know how that feels. I've been a father since I was 19 and married a 25 yr old with a 7 yr old boy. Now I have two of my own which are mainly my responsibility alone and Christmas for me has been about my kids for so long I don't care about myself or what I might want. I'm very lucky in a way, I just don't have time to be anything but selfless and not worry about myself because the love I have in return is worth more than anything. It's my birthday today and I'm happy that I simply get to sleep in tomorrow lol.