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Every morning I get up and make instant coffee and I drink it so I have the energy to make real coffee.

Every morning I get up and make instant coffee and I drink it so I have the energy to make real coffee. | "I GOT A NEW DOG. HE’S A PARANOID RETRIEVER. HE BRINGS BACK EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE’S NOT SURE WHAT I THREW HIM. | image tagged in steven wright,memes,funny memes,jokes | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

1,101 views, 10 upvotes, 1 comment

Steven Wright

Steven Wright | I WENT TO A GAS STATION, THEY HAD A "NOW HIRING" SIGN AND A "SELF-SERVICE" SIGN; SO I WENT IN AND HIRED MYSELF | image tagged in steven wright | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

641 views, 8 upvotes

Steven Wright

Steven Wright | I THINK MY DENTAL HYGIENIST IS VERY PRETTY; SO I EAT A BOX OF OREOS RIGHT BEFORE MY DENTAL APPOINTMENT | image tagged in steven wright | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

640 views, 4 upvotes

Steven Wright

Steven Wright | IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED.... ...THEN SKYDIVING DEFINITELY ISN'T FOR YOU. | image tagged in steven wright | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

1,707 views, 4 upvotes

Steven Wright

Steven Wright | I THINK MY DENTAL HYGIENIST IS VERY PRETTY; SO I ATE A WHOLE BOX OF OREOS IN THE WAITING ROOM | image tagged in steven wright | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

1,455 views, 3 upvotes, 2 comments

Steven Wright

565 views, 3 upvotes