LETS FACE IT
ENGLISH IS A STOOPID LANGUAGE
BECAUSE IF WE EXAMINE THE PARADOXES
WE FIND THAT...
THERES NO EGG IN EGGPLANT
NO HAM IN HAMBURGER
THERES NO PINE OR APPLE IN PINEAPPLE
ENGLISH MUFFINS WERE NOT INVENTED IN ENGLAND
FRENCH FRIES WERE NOT INVENTED IN FRANCE
QUICK SAND TAKES YOU DOWN SLOWLY
BOXING RINGS ARE SQUARES
GUINEA PIG IS NEITHER GUINEA OR A PIG
IF THE TEACHERS TAUGHT
WHY DIDNT THE PREACHER PRAUGHT?
IF THE PLURAL OF TOOTH IS TEETH WHY ISNT THE PLURAL OF PHONE BOOTH PHONE BEETH
IF A VEGETARIAN EATS VEGETABLES THEN WHAT THE H3LL DOES A HUMANITARIAN EAT?
WHY DO WE RECITE AT A PLAY? BUT PLAY AT A RECITAL?
PARK ON DRIVEWAYS? AND DRIVE ON PARKWAYS?
A HOUSE IS BURNING UP
AS IT BURNS DOWN
AND YOU FILL OUT A FORM BY FILLING IT IN?