It's the world we live in. A fallen, sin filled world. Without more information the only other thing I can add is that I will pray for your well being.
We just have to keep living. Remember the apostle Paul, when he was threatened with death, he was joyful to meet Christ. When they kept him alive, he was joyful to keep spreading God's message
A win/win. We win either way. Follow God and Jesus.
Spread the good news of the gospel to a world in desperate need of hearing it.
Continue til we are called home or Jesus comes back to get us. Nothing better.
That's the hope that we have. Just being able to know that no matter what happens God is on our side, and either way is way better than anything else on Earth
