FOX NEWS DEBATE...............
Brett Baier - "We'd like to welcome in our audience and all of the candidates who have joined us tonight. We were hopeful that the former President would have been here but our intention is to focus on those who are and discuss some very substantive topics currently facing our nation. So, without further ado, why don't we get started. Each candidate will have 1 minute to answer a question and 30 seconds for a rebuttal. Everyone has agreed to the script, I mean rules, so I'll start with the former VP Mike Pence. Mr. Vice President, how much do you hate Donald Trump?"
Pence - Well Brett, not a day has gone by since we left office that I don't fantasize about stabbing him in the back.
Brett - Same here. Okay, former Governor Christie, same question.
Christie - Brett, of course I hate Trump, but where's the buffet we were promised?
Brett - Later Chris, later. Mrs. Haley, in light of the conflict in Ukraine, how much of it is Trump's fault?
Haley - Brett, I've pondered this question for two years and the answer is........ all of it.
Brett - Seems reasonable. Senator Scott, why are you running?
Scott - Well, Brett, originally I wasn't going to because the GOPe told me that Nikki would be enough to take down Trump in the SC primary but her polling is so bad that they paid me to jump in as well.
Brett - Damnit, Tim, you're not supposed to say that out loud. Let's move on to Governor DeSantis. Governor, with how much Ruport Murdoch is paying you to fracture the party and take down Trump, why are you failing so miserably?
DeSantis - Brett, would you like an egg on a stick?
Brett - Good God are you a moron. Let's move on to Vivek.
Luntz - Brett, I can't breathe down here. I'm coming up.
Brett - Damnit Frank, I said not until the commercial break. Let's move on to Vivek. Vivek, who the hell are you and why are you destroying Ron's chances?
Vivek - Brett, I am running......
Brett - Shut up, just shut up.
Brett - Hang on everyone, I've got some breaking news. Our decision desk has called AZ for Moochelle Obama.
Christie - That's great, but what about that buffet?