In so sorry you feel like this, and I know I'll never quite understand. I know a random person on the internet isn't much, but I want you to know how much it hurt to read this all. Even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes, I can't even tell you how much even I would cry if something happened to you. I'm sorry school is shit, but just keep going. Please.
I'm ALWAYS here to talk if you need to <3
Stay safe, I love you guys