And don’t try virtue signaling by saying “I wouldn’t care as long as they put thought into it” cos you know that’s not true

Socks

Not even the dope ass silly ones

Just plain ol' Fruit Of The Loom socks

Can’t argue with that, silly Christmas socks would be dope though.

Ong

deodorant

What would be even worse is getting deodorant again from the same person

eww

giving a straight guy a d**do as a gay joke

When a girl buys a vibrator, its seen as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240 Volt F**kMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating va**na, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, he’s called a pervert? Smh double standards nowadays.

This is brilliant.
This should be in the copypasta microwave.

Done

I would just get a vibrator

When a girl buys a d**do, it’s alright. But if I buy one, I’m suddenly gay?

Ps4 i mean wake up ps5 been here for years

Same but it’s cause I prefer computer gaming

A positive pregnancy test.

Especially if they put it in your birthday cake.

"Son, we got you a new bed."
"But Dad, I wanted love and affection from you and Mom."
"We know, it's so you can keep on dreaming."

What would be different about the bed though, would there be a different bed frame, a different mattress, or different bed sheets? Or all of the above?

Bed frame is from 2004, the mattress has a faded coffee stain but overall fair, and the bedsheets are very fragile

You referencing to anything?

Chapstick

Not even a new one, a half used thing of chapstick from your fat cousin

This sounds a bit too specific to not have happened

…

Getting clothes

Speak for yourself, my wardrobe could have a little variety.

Depends on the clothes

Clothes that have stuff I like on it/clothes that actually look good: Godtier
Clothes that have stuff I don't like on it/Ugly ass rags that I know damn well I ain't pullin outta my closet : shit tier

Someone shoving an alive overcooked chicken that screams in pain into your mailbox