Out of an abundance of caution and concern, we're forcing the shutdown of much of American life. We don't want you to eat at a restaurant, go to a sporting event, go to work at your job, open your small business and work every day, because there is a 20% chance that you will get a disease that 50% of those who do don't have symptoms, 98% of those who get it have mild symptoms, maybe 2% have serious symptoms, and .05% or less die. We've shut down schools across America, to protect the 1.5% to 6% of college aged kids, and less than 1% of high school and younger kids who get the disease. Thank you to all the brave parents who continue to pay full tuition price for a mail-order education.
We don't know how long this may take. Our experts think we may be able to sound the all-clear sometime in early November, depending on how things go.
In the meantime, our abundance of caution has forced brave Democratic governors across the nation to release rapists, armed robbers, and murderers into the general population, out of concern for their health. We've introduced federal legislation to open the borders. And we've crafted an aid bill that will allow government union employees to stay shut down with no affect on their pension plans. And we've given all of you $1200.
It's because we care about you, and know what's best for you. We'll let you know when you can have some of your freedoms back. Until then, stay well.
Sincerely,
The Democratic Party
