We need good men to keep doing what they do! It can't be easy being a father in this crazy world!

Agreed!!

LOL

I have to admit, they're often pretty funny; but sometimes I can't help but cringe lol.

Not only do I tell dad jokes, but I laugh like a maniac at my own punch lines. My husband just shakes his head. LOL

I'm usually a quiet guy in real life, but when I make a joke I never get so much as a grin :D

I'm quiet unto I turn the humor on.

I laugh at my jokes, too. If I don't the think it's funny, why would anybody else? And if it's funny, why not laugh?

thanks darlin', the world doesn't smile on us much any more and it's a shame. the dad in the sitcom is always the idiot. the dad in commercials is made to be incompetent. the father in that magazine ad is lazy. and yet study after study after study has shown that kids that grow up with a strong father figure are more successful and have a better grip on life later on. your words are most appreciated, thanks on behalf of all the good dads out there!

My marriage is garbage, but I could never say that my husband is not a good provider and excellent father. He spends a lot of time with the kids (we have two girls) and we want for nothing thanks to his working 12 hour rotating shifts. One thing our girls won't have is "daddy issues". I think it's appalling how men have been subject to so much of a beating. It is definitely not fair and I hope we see the tides turn in regards to this. I shudder to think what it would be like if we didn't have any men willing to do what men do best.

Nixieknox may give you advice. Is yor marriage bad because you two are out for yourselves

My marriage is bad because my husband treats me like a tool. I am only worthy of his attention or affection when I am serving some useful purpose.

That sucks I'm sorry if I seem imposing. Best thing to do is pray

Well, it is a conversation which I know to be visible to others. I run on auto pilot. What the future holds remains to be seen. But you are right.

He is good to the kids. I don't want it to seem as though he is terrible all around. He does provide and he is present.

Marriage isn't about one self it's about one thinking more highly of the other

Which is where the trouble came up. I was thinking of him and doing everything I could for him, and he left me out in the cold every single time I ever needed him. I am an object around here. I will never beg him to love me again. I do not complain, I will never have that argument with him again. I will only go through each day holding up my end of the household responsibilities. That's all I can do.

Well.. wish the best for you.

Of course. Also, I never uttered a single vow of marriage with the intention of it all being disposable. Because that is what people do. Marriage is not supposed to be disposable, but so many people are very fast to divorce when something is not perfect. I haven't been happy for the past ten years. I could probably divorce him and bankrupt him taking him for all the alimony I can squeeze out of him. But I feel that is what is wrong with the world. Too many women do that just because they can and they take delight in that power. I will never be that woman who does that. No man deserves to be put through the wringer just because their wife got bitter and wanted to have the upper hand. It saddens me to see a man not get a fair shake in those situations. Sat the very least I owe it to my kids to see this through. Once a person brings children into the world the focus has to shift off of ones self and to the family instead.

True. I just want to help my fellow human being. If I can .

Thanks. It's all about perseverance. This is where the "for worse" part comes into play it seems.

Hey wouldn't you rather preserve hoping that he'll change, than leaving him and he does change

You're good. Peewee. I appreciate you. :)

Thank yee kindly. I just want the both of you to be happy

you have mentioned some turbulence in the past as well so i'm sorry it seems to be ongoing still...you seem like a very genuine person so my heart aches for you. the outlook you have for the kiddos is very admirable, and your seeing the good traits in their dad is as well. we do have our shortcomings and many out there use them to paint us in the worst light without acknowledging the good things, so the fact that you can see it and still compliment is humbling for me to see. i can't pretend to empathize with your situation though as i have not experienced it, but i do wish you the best in your marriage and am praying for you! have you ever seen the God/Husband/Wife triangle?

Thank you dearly. I appreciate that. I really don't ever want to be the woman who just bashes the poor man. I know it's hard work being a husband and father. I know I have my share of faults as well. I think in a world where men are constantly bashed for everything they do it is so important to show my kids the exact opposite. I want them to appreciate what they have. I have never seen God/Husband/Wife Triangle. Is this something they may have on Youtube or Netflix perhaps?

no, it's just a neat graphic i've been shown over the years. as a believer (which i've seen you say before) you might appreciate it. notice that the closer the two of you get to God, the closer the two of you become. seek Him first, the marriage will benefit from it :)

While I have most always been a believer, except for a small period during my teenage years... I wasn't necessarily going to church or having it as a focus really. I married him during that luke warm period. Never even thought to ask hi at any point uring the 12 years leading up to marrying him about his beliefs. I assumed he was catholic because he is of Italian descent. Ridiculous. I know. But he does not mock me and the kids for going to church, and if the girls ask him to read bible stories at bed time he will do it.

without bugging you about it, which i try not to do, i'll say that even if you are the only one drawing closer to God it will not do anything but help, and certainly won't hurt. i don't judge atheists, that's not my place and it only hurts others' opinions of my faith. maybe if he sees something different in you he may get interested? it's obviously a complicated situation, and i can't even try to understand but God knows your life, and he is sovereign over all things good and bad, whether we understand or not so i will pray for wisdom and clarity for you. it's not much, but it's about all i can do (other than throw upvotes at you) to help you from across the state line! take care chica.

I do not feel that you are bugging me. I appreciate that you would take any amount of your time to talk with me. :) What you say Reminds me of the movie "Fire proof". Have you ever seen that? It's one of my favorite movies. And a bonus, it's something the kids also can watch.

I really do feel at a loss because no matter how I ever treated him he has always treated me this way. I was always very attentive and caring toward him. Making sure he had everything he needed, and I never denied him physically. Not even when he gained a whole lot of weight. But he always has been very dismissive uncaring toward me. I never really gave it a lot of thought though. Eventually I came to realize it more and more. You know how hindsight is. I was always so focused on how much I loved him and never even considered whether he loved me back. Love is as blind as it can be I guess!

yes, i saw that when it first came out, great movie! Courageous is also a great movie with some similar things going on. my men's group at church has done several studies on series like that so if what i said sounds familiar then that's probably why! one thing you said, whether he loves you back...as a Christian my thoughts on love are biblically based in that God is love and all love starts and begins with him. so, if someone is detached from God they are losing a really great way to channel love into their life. again, i'm not judging or even saying that non-believers cannot love as that would be incredulous. i'm just saying that if you draw nearer to the source you can get so much more out of it. my MIL dealt with a failing marriage for 19 years doing exactly what you sound like in caregiving, submitting, loving without any return in kind, etc. and the man was so bullheaded he couldn't see the problem. either that, or he did and chose not to do anything about it. it is a sad and all-to-common issue that so many suffer through, i'm sorry you are having to deal with it.

You know, out side of this forum I have never had a single soul converse with me in any meaningful way. I had friends who would either put all the blame on me, or just ask me why don't I pack up and leave. None of which helped me at all. I say this because I want you to know that I do sincerely appreciate you here. You are absolutely right in all that you say. I Will say the Bible does mention long suffering. You Mother-in-law sounds like she fits that description. I don't know what my life will look like in another 10 years.

if i've made your day a little better then that makes me happy! honestly, i don't get down to this level of detail with subjects like this on the webz, because there are so many trolls out there that just want to steal the joy away. but, i'm glad that today is different. yes, long suffering is definitely there, and i truly believe that if one has really done all they can as the Bible instructs without reciprocation, God does not enjoy seeing us unhappy. in her case, they did end up in divorce, and in her case she is much happier now. however, that's her case and not yours, and i'll make no recommendations to you regarding that. what i will say is that 10 years from now i hope that you are looking back on a darker time!

You certainly did! I am a firm believer in showing gratitude for gifts I have received no matter how great or small. I have been so poor I couldn't afford food and I have been homeless. No matter what I ever have happening in my life I always have room to be grateful. Maybe a troll or two would also take something good away from our conversation. You never know who you help without meaning to! :)

sounds like your life is steady on the ups then if that's where you came from! you seem to have a great spirit, and a good attitude is a killer combo with that.

My husband loves craft beer.

I am beer ignorant. lOL

I think everyone is lying who say they liked their first sip of any alcohol lol.

Though when I was younger I drank it anyway. LOL