Two Sides To Every Coin

These are the women who get their advice from cosmo or vogue. Speaking as a woman, a woman who "plays" hard to get usually isn't, and the fact that she is "playing" hard to get should be your first red flag. She is a game player, not a love maker. It is a game now, and will continue to be a game. Some women will drop subtle hints and expect you to read their minds. Also a red flag. Also a game that will always continue. In every argument or situation in life she will be expecting you to read her mind.

It is better to pursue a woman who does not respond with games. If you ask a woman out and she does not say, "yes! I would love to go out! What do you have in mind?" Then she is a game player and you are her toy. Not in a way you would want to be either. Personally, in my adult life, when asked out I did not play these games if I was interested. If was on the rebound or just looking for a temporary fill in until I found someone I really did like I would play these games. If you accidentally ask out a feminist just run. Don'y explain, or offer defense. Just get out.

When women say: "It's fine."
We think it means: "It's fine."
But they really mean: "It's anything but fine."

When women say: "We'll talk about this later."
We think it means: "I have something to discuss with you."
But they really mean: "I’m so furious with you that I can’t think straight. I need more time to gather ammunition and/or think about what the hell I’m still doing with you."

When women say: "I'm almost ready."
We think it means: "I'm almost ready."
But they really mean: "I’ll be ready when I’m ready. Could be 10 minutes, could be an hour. Find something else to do."

When women say: "I forgive you."
We think it means: "I forgive you."
But they really mean: "I’ve decided I can live with what you’ve done. But you should know that I’m going to use it against you for the rest of your life."

When women say: "We'll see."
We think it means: "We'll see."
But they really mean: "No."

When women say: "Maybe."
We think it means: "Maybe. It could go either way."
But they really mean: "No."

When women say: "Yes."
We think it means: "Yes."
But they really mean: "Yes. Or maybe. But probably no."

I have noticed this tendency, and have learned to spot it in daily interactions. However, people don't like it when someone reveals they understand their meaning to be different from their words, and it tends to make them hate you.

I've pretty much given up on human interaction at this point, sad to say.

Yes, I'm also socially awkward so I get it. I have ways of getting around that, like cosplay or being on a stage in front of hundreds or thousands of people. Either way I'm someone else for a time.

I am not good with people for this reason. I don't tend to call people out, but rather I silently observe and avoid such people. I have never had a lot of friends because people tend not to like me. Which is fine with me. With friends come trouble!

I like being friends with people who are honest enough to say what they mean, but not so blunt that they don't know how to be nice and honest at the same time. Those kinds of friends are hard to find, but worth holding on to.

I admit, I am working on my blunt nature. I had a time where I was too intimidate by others to ever speak honestly, then I went to the complete opposite end of the spectrum with being TOO blunt. I am working on striking a good balance.

A healthy balance is a tricky thing, but a good ideal to strive for. If I had to choose, I'd rather err on the side of rudeness than dishonesty, but it is better not to err in the first place

This is why I am glad I am a woman and not a man. I would hate to have to deal with me like this :)

You are not wrong! You know all the secrets!

Me? I don't do that. There is no mystery to me at all, however there comes a price. Ask me if I'm angry and by golly I am going to tell you, and I may not shut up for at least 30 minutes. Because I will tell you what you did, why it pissed me off, and what you can do to rectify it IF you can rectify it at all. When it's time to go I grab my purse and leave. I may stop to brush my hair. So I usually look like hammered hell. When I mean "no" I usually yell it in a way that you know means no, then you'll have to ask me why I have an attitude, at which point I will yell, "Just leave me alone! Can't you see I'm busy!" LOL! I am difficult and I do not deny it. But I am not mysterious.

That would be refreshing for sure. I hate mind games.

Me too. I dated a guy in high school who was ALWAYS angry at me, and he would not tell me why. He would drag it out for weeks. Had I a shred of self esteem or sense that I deserved better I would have ditched him from the first time he pulled that crap. I think every one deserves a fair shot in a relationship. These mind games are not fair. Especially since the "rules" seem to change once you figure them out.

That almost seems like a defense mechanism on the guy's part - changing it up like that. It's almost as if he did it so could stay in control of his situations. Sounds like he was insecure.

We all live, love and learn. :)

THAT is exactly what it was. He wanted to be in constant control. And if living in an abusive home weren't enough I went out in the world to find more people to help me feel like a worthless tool.
Live and learn I did! I am now making up for it by raising my kids to KNOW they deserve to be treated well, and that everyone else deserves to be treated well by them. Don't abuse or stand for being abused.

That sucks! But your situations are what is now making you a great mom by teaching your kids love and self worth :)

Thanks! Cycles must be broken or repeated. Preferably broken! :)

Being socially inept really doesn't help.

The last woman I was interested in acted in a manner similar to what you described, but I thought it was all part of the "game" that all people are required to play. I am always careful to choose my battles, in any form of relationship, but I am not a doormat. When something finally came where I stood my ground, the entire friendship ended.

I've given up trying to find someone after that. Now, I just focus on work and try to be true to myself while keeping my eyes open for someone who does not play games. I don't see that ever happening though.

I'm glad that there are people out there, both men and women, who understand what I'm saying with this meme. :)

Totally get it.

I always say, "It's better to be alone than to wish you were." People tend to settle for this insanity, then later when the relationship is miserable they realize they overlooked all these red flags for the sake of giving someone a "chance". Someone good is out there. You just haven't found them yet. When you do, you will know it.

Hang in there!

i guess i read just for the future then

wait if only ladies-women are dangerous, can I flirt teenage girls?

Not unless you are within legal age range!

What is that legal age range?

In the United States it is best not to pursue anyone under the age of 18 if you are 18 or older. Reasons being maturity levels, and potential legal ramifications.

I am not 18 yet. Should i still go flirting ?(i am not in the US but i think every place is the same)

People your age will flirt. I wouldn't go out just flirting with everyone. If you see someone you like strike up a conversation and decide if they seem interested.

And if i strike miss, i should leave

EEK!

I'll take my chances with being dateless

So you can have options A and B, MaxCanza

Single guys: Get one. Better safe than sorry.

But is not necessarily "wife" material to raise successful and smart children with.

I don't think it's the same kind of people who say those two things...

True, but I was talking from the standpoint of "Society's Rules". Both of these are commonly "known" to be rules for men to adhere to in interactions with women, but the social consciousness doesn't seem to realize how conflicting the two are.