The definition of small talk...finally!!!

This is such a perfect way of explaining why introverts and extroverts are so different. It does feel like torture. I love it that neurotypicals, social interaction creates dopamine...but we who are evolving require meaningful interaction. So perfect!

I recently read that the "wiring" that is different in autistic brains is that we have more connections in each individual section of the brain, but less in between different connections, so this being difficult does make a lot more sense in that context as well.

Can you say that in a different way? I don't understand what you mean.

So each individual section of the brain in an autistic person has more neural connections within those sections than a neurotypical brain. However the neural connections that exist between the different sections of the brain that connect them to each other are fewer. Knowing that makes me think that if something like "small talk" requires multiple different processes or "areas of the brain" being used at once that it would make sense that it would be more difficult for neurodivergent brains. I think this also explains a lot of the more savant/prodigy trends with neurodivergence as well.

Hmm. I understand now. So while the autistic brain has more possibilities of increased brain function, the ability for those area of the brain to communicate with one another breaks down. So it's like a lot of genius sections of the brain not being able to pull off the greatest brain heist of the century. As evolution proceeds, those missing communication lines will connect. We will continue to evolve, whether neurotypicals want us to or not. Can you imagine the number of people that would have been tarred and feathered if the missing communication lines had been working right away?!

As someone with adhd this is actually very true, having small talk with people (expect a selected few) is agony to me. It’s to a point where I have had to let that person know “hey, this conversation isn’t getting anywhere” or “I can’t really pay attention.” I always say it as politely as I can but I get yelled at for it (expect again, the selected few who understand and ask if I wanted to be left alone) I also have horrible spelling when typing, half of this paragraph was all mistakes that autocorrect fixed. I have the writing style of an 11-12th grader without autocorrect and collage with.

And that is my best suggestion for anyone struggling with small talk. I absolutely hate it. So I try to get them to tell me a good story. Everyone has a good story. I can handle it in public if I try this technique. But in private, I won't put up with it.