Look, I love my parents, and that isn't ONLY for the sake of this meme, I really do. But they have been kinda mean to my lil' brother (Isaac). For example, they have intimidated him a few times, AND smacked his hand in the street a few years ago. Do you know what type of person likes to do that to children? Well, I'll tell you this much: It's not a law-abiding citizen. I think I should do something about it. Then again, I don't want my parents to get into trouble. What should I do? Here's the options you can vote for:
[A]: Call the police and put a restraining order on them after the court case
[B]: Tell my grandparents
[C]: Do nothing
Vote by using a letter between A and C in square brackets. The option with the most votes will be my best solution. Voting ends one day after my 14th birthday (My birthday is on March 13th so voting ends on March 14th)
Be thankful you don't have a maths teacher as mean as I did in the early Year 8. Wanna know why? Well, she was a maths teacher that everyone hated. She always gave out the hardest homework assignments E V E R ! No-one could ever figure out the correct answers. She would also insult all of her students for being stupid everyday. Well, I went to the headteacher to complain. But the headteacher never did anything about it. So I took matters into my own hands. I have a friend named David, who has asthma. So I talk to him. Here's how it went down:
Thursday
Lunch Break
Me: David,
David: Yeah?
Me: I have a plan, O.K., so, you know how our maths teacher sucks?
David: Yeah, I hate her so freaking bad!
Me: Tommorow, I need you to purposefully leave your inhaler in your locker, O.K.; and of you ever have an asthma attack, just ask her if you can go get it.
David: O.K.
Friday
Period 3 (Maths)
David: Ruben, it's happening!
Me: Ask her.
David (to our maths teacher): I forgot my inhaler in my locker. Can I go get it please?
Our Maths Teacher: NO, you had plenty of time before class to remember your inhaler, so just deal with it for now, O.K.?
David: *asthma attack noises*
An ambulance had to be called and he was taken to the hospital. The school and David's parents found out that our teacher refused to let him get his inhaler. Not only was our maths teacher fired, but our headteacher called the police on her, and she was given a life sentence for first degree attempted murder. Luckily, David is still alive. And was out of the hospital the next week.
Here's a full list of the questions (and their answers)
1. If you're skiing through the Amazon and your jetpack runs out of apple juice, what should you have on your head? A pterodactyl, because bubblegum makes bubbles.
2. If you're swimming on Mount Everest and your duck eats a ukulele, what should you have under your big toe? A pizza, so that you can tiptoe to the moon to buy shoelaces for your dinosaur.
3. Ellie has 8 apples, and her train is seven minutes late. Calculate the mass of the sun. 1.9891 × 1030 kilograms
4. If water is wet and spaghetti is purple, how far away is the sun from the moon? 150 million kilometres.
5. (This is the question in the title.) If you eat socks, and your favourite number in the alphabet is purple, how many waffles will you drink? Chair, because Loser from BFDI is actually tofu.
6. If a ship has 26 sheep and 10 goats on board, how old is the ship's captain? Milk, because no-one likes OJ from Inanimate Insanity. (How does my Maths teacher know about object shows?)
7. If you're driving a car and it starts to fly, how many car doors should you eat? Balloons, because Vaseline is a stegosaurus.
8. If you're flying a chicken, and the alligator is running between the bread on one stick, how many walls do you eat when your TV is crying? Podium, because soda is a cat.
9. If you're flying through the desert, and your boat gets a flat tire, what should you have in your pockets? Blue, because ice cream doesn't have bones.
10. If you're swimming on the sun, and your pet penguin, Jerry, catches a cold, what should you have in your teeth? A teaspoon, because cats hate Star Trek.
BTW, I have a friend in my class named Trevor, and he doesn't understand one question on the homework, and neither does the smartest kid in my class, Louie. I wouldn't be surprised if we all got an F on the homework.
