Commander put up a good fight and bit his leg.

Eff that. No one is "left behind" who didn't want to be there. Utter drivel.

Obviously baby oil is something you use on babies and vegetable oil is something you use on vegetables

Called monkeypox because "discovered" in monkeys. Claimed it spread to humans through dogs and such. Sounds legit. Not at all some generic symptoms repackaged to sell smallpox vaccines which they said they eradicated decades ago thanks too...wait for it....vaccines (nothing like Cough HIV, polio, flu, cough).