Damn, I am sorry you had to witness all this, lately some weird delusional thoughts had been appearing in my mind time from time. I am sorry, you all way was right. I don’t know what was happening to me when I wrote all of this. God bless you
tried so many times, you won't believe it. Since the beginning of spring this year I lost and still can't get up. And only around a week ago.. I saw the nothing, I was in it. I can't describe it. But I saw the nothingness. No one will ever believe me though. I can't rid of the "image" of the nothingness I have in my head. I've been depressed for months, I tried to kill myself, but I..realized. I no longer feel depressed because I saw the nothingness. I don’t know how and why. But it happened. The meanings are meaningless for me.
I can't unsee the truth. I see truth everywhere. I see nothing. If I killed myself nothing would change. There's no meaning, cause nothing exists, not even the meanings. You say I added the meaning in those words? No, you did, you hallucinated and reacted in a way your brain is told you to react. You're not real as I am, I am talking with no one and the conversation is nothing. Everething is a hallucination, and hallucinations are nothing. It's okay if you don't realize what I mean. It's good that you found a meaning and live with God, have a good life. But I know, I know, I will always know.
Everething's nothing. As I said. No one understands. Something is nothing. I am nothing. Conversation is nothing. Nothing exists, not even the meaning of these words I am writing with right now. They are not real. Just hallucinations, weird hallucinations we live in. And hallucinations are nothing. Cause I know, I understand.
