Submissions: 20 (17 featured - 85%)
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This must be the money pit!
"Ooh a coin, it's from the 13th century and is the find of the century" me: yup add it to the pile of other coins from the same damn time and are all "finds if the century"
Chuck Norris Flex
No he doesn't. There can only be one chuck norris. If there was two they would have to duel to the death, however being perfectly balanced the battle would cause such an immense amount of gravity that a black hole would appear transporting the plant to tube butt dimension from rick and morty but as tube gravity from the battle continued to grow the gases would swirl around them and eventually form into a new planet and then would ignite causing the birth of a new star ending all life of the human race
With lots of horseradish
If you are willing to be the first woman on mars and a boot up her ass, by all means ask him
When you coming home, dad?
And the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man on the moon. When you coming home? Son, I don't know when. Maybe we can get together then, dad. You know we'll have a good time then dad.