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I don't usually fart at work, but when I do, I make it a life-changing event.

Actual Advice Mallard | IF YOU ABSENT-MINDEDLY FART IN YOUR OFFICE, AND THEN THE HOTTEST, MOST AWESOME FEMALE EMPLOYEE COMES INTO YOUR OFFICE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER AND SAYS, "WHAT'S THAT SMELL?"; ADMIT IT BECAUSE SHE ALREADY KNOWS IT WAS YOU, AND YOU'RE NOW DEAD TO HER ANYWAY, AND AT LEAST YOU CAN DIE AN HONEST MAN. | image tagged in memes,actual advice mallard,AdviceAnimals | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

by anonymous

17,931 views, 12 upvotes, 5 comments

Actual Advice Mallard

Actual Advice Mallard | ADD VERY CHEAP BACON TO YOUR SHOPPING LIST. CHEAP BACON IS MOSTLY FAT. MORE FAT MEANS MORE GREASE. MORE GREASE MEANS GOOD BACON GRAVY. | image tagged in memes,actual advice mallard | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

by anonymous

932 views, 15 upvotes, 6 comments

Actual Advice Mallard

Actual Advice Mallard | IF YOU EVER OWN A DUCK; NAME IT "TAPE" | image tagged in memes,actual advice mallard | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

574 views, 6 upvotes, 4 comments

This almost burned me my senior year. Contact your department.

Actual Advice Mallard | YOU DON'T AUTOMATICALLY GRADUATE COLLEGE WHEN YOU GET ENOUGH CREDITS; YOU HAVE TO APPLY FOR GRADUATION | image tagged in memes,actual advice mallard,AdviceAnimals | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

by anonymous

3,087 views, 6 upvotes

Newborns don't read. But I had to vent somewhere.

Actual Advice Mallard | THE LONGER YOU THRASH YOUR LEGS THE LONGER IT TAKES YOUR DAD TO FUMBLE WITH THE SNAPS ON YOUR ONESIE AND FINISH. | image tagged in memes,actual advice mallard,AdviceAnimals | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

by anonymous

9,183 views, 13 upvotes, 2 comments

Actual Advice Mallard

by anonymous

468 views, 6 upvotes

⚠This is very important for everyone to know, this usually only happens in big cities

377 views, 6 upvotes

Actual Advice Mallard

504 views, 13 upvotes, 8 comments

For Mother's Day coming up

by anonymous

4,175 views, 18 upvotes, 1 comment

Actual Advice Mallard

by anonymous

1,438 views, 13 upvotes, 1 comment

Actual Advice Mallard

by wizardofgunmonkeys

1,221 views, 17 upvotes, 10 comments

Actual Advice Mallard

by anonymous

3,889 views, 24 upvotes, 6 comments

Can't believe this even needs to be explained...

by anonymous

88,296 views, 8 upvotes

This is how I learned to love vegetables growing up.

by anonymous

8,939 views, 12 upvotes, 4 comments