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A Death Slower Than The Toad's Crawl

A Death Slower Than The Toad's Crawl | O, cruel hag, why hast thou wrecked such woe upon us? Return my son, the true prince, and I may grant thee life. Keep him bound to this wicked shape, and I swear by my ancestors, I shall hunt thee until the world's end! Wretched witch! Thou hast stolen the heir to this realm and held him captive in a vile toad's skin. Thinkest thou that a queen fears thy black craft? Deliver him, or thou shalt know a death slower than the toad's crawl. Thou foul sorceress! Release my son from thy devilish enchantment! By the rood, if thou dost not break this unnatural spell upon the prince and restore his human form, I shall have thee burnt in the town square and thy soul surrendered to eternal darkness! | image tagged in cats,medieval memes,the queen,witches,prince,enchantress | made w/ Imgflip meme maker
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by Calvinism_Sucks
57 views, 2 upvotes

A Stain Upon The Royal Line

A Stain Upon The Royal Line | Thou pribbling ill-nurtured knave! Thou hast brought foul disgrace upon my crown and made thy name a mockery in the mouth of churls. To show thy nakedness before the town is the act of a beast, not a prince. Thou art a plague sore upon my house, and I would that I could forget thee as easily as thou has forgotten all reason! Thou art a mangled knot of foul deformity, a stain upon the royal line. Woe, and a pox upon thee! Dost thou think thy royal blood keeps thee from God’s judgement? Thou hast sinned against holy propriety, and the stench of thy scandal reach’s even unto the cathedral! Thou shalt be stripped of thy luxury and spend thy days doing penance in the cold, til thy spirit learns humility, lest I have thy head on a spike to show the town my justice! | image tagged in cats,medieval memes,prince,the king,perv,scandal | made w/ Imgflip meme maker
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by Calvinism_Sucks
68 views, 1 upvote

Thou Art A Foul Slugabed

Thou Art A Foul Slugabed | Thou art a filthy clodpoll, a disgrace to thy master! Thou foul, beslubbering knave! Look at this mess! Thou art a beastly slaggard, unworthy of the bread thou eatest! Our litter box is foul, thou attire is unfit for mine eye, thou art a slugabed at feeding time and mine water fountain hath a hair floating inside! Thou sluggish knave! Thy negligence doth offend mine eyes! Away, thou cumber-world! A useless sot that cumbereth the ground! Thou loiter-sack! I shall have thee scurged for thy sloth and filth! Thou art a draught-sack more fit for the dunghill than my service! By the Rood, if thou dost not stir, I shall send thee to the gallows! | image tagged in cats,medieval memes,prince,lazy sloth,filthy,superior royalty | made w/ Imgflip meme maker
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by Calvinism_Sucks
108 views, 7 upvotes, 1 comment