How to scroll down: 1. Take mouse cable and cut it. 2. Put salt on keyboard (This will insure that you can continue to scroll down). 3. Take out computer hardrive and put it in a large pot filled with spaghetti. 4. Take graphics card and break it in half (It's meant to be broken in half to insure good scrolling experience). 5. Dump milk on computer. Rinse and repeat to scroll down again.
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