Only rule is that it can't get me banned lmao

i boil dogs alive

my infant son flying out the windshield after i tell him seatbelts are for girls

the child looking up at me with tears in his eyes as i put every single piece of gum in a 35 pack into my mouth at once while making unblinking eye contact with him for two minutes

Flick loves sticking his dih up his girlfriend's missing eye socket

I like dawn

9 Georgians walk into a bar, 3 at a time

The quantum raccoon pope rode a screaming shopping cart through a lasagna-shaped wormhole while arguing with a sentient toaster about free will, taxes, and why the moon owes him forty-seven dollars and a kiss, all as the universe briefly paused to say “what the actual f**k” and then carried on anyway

You should probably eat a pillow right now

The toaster filed for emotional bankruptcy after realizing bread never says thank you

Upvote for Nudes

How about you go outside and touch grass for once

Reskin the teeth.