While traversing through the pale gardens, the pillager patrollers decided to set up camp for the night. Little did they know, it's common knowledge among the illagers that settling an outpost in such a cursed forest is a bad idea. While all the pillagers were sleeping in the outpost, Frank, the captain novice, was patrolling the outskirts, then he heard, creaking? He looked around, the closed grey flowers have blossomed and are now staring at him. Scared, he rushed back to the torches placed a chunk from the building. Before he could go into the outpost, a strange 9 ft wood man appears in front of him, staring down at him. Fearing for his life he shot an arrow at it. Another common knowledge is that you can't harm a creaking directly. It failed and he rushed into one of the tents. The creaking lied down 10 blocks away, playing with itself, in a sexy way. Frank saw this and slowly got up, dropped his crossbow, and walked up to it. The freaking and the captain stared down each other, both really aroused. The creaking spoke, "Wànñæ fúçk~?". The captain said "yes, I know a secret spot the rest wouldn't find us!". On the way, creaking asked "top or bottom? If top, how big are you?" Frank told him "switch, 6 pixels long, 2 pixels wide.". "Ævèrägē àreñ't wê," the creaking laughed, "gūess Î'll havë to mæke 2 cøndœms then~". The creaking then took a few meters of hanging moss from the trees, then stitched them into 2 condoms. "Thís is whàt wë dœ whêñ we døn't wañt to makè a ñew træe" creaking explained. A few hundred blocks later they stop at Dusty Crophopper's body. "This is it" Frank said. They both climbed into the corpse. "You ready?" Frank said. "ØH YÆH~" creaking said. They f**ked. After 20 minutes, Frank yelled "I'M GONNA-" as he fills the condom with future illagers, hydrating the moss, he pulls out and it slips off. They switch sides. The creaking f**ks back. After an hour of f**king, the creaking nuts, but the condom broke! The illagers stomach begins to bloat, as he is filled with gallons of gallons of the creaking's resin, becoming twice as big. "OH MY NOTCH!!" Frank said, "OH F**K HEROBRINE I'M GONNA BURST!!". "hehe, sórry," the creaking said "my ßad, yoū løok cûte blœted likè thàt~". "I guess~" the illager resin balloon blushes slightly. "OH SHIT THE SUN IS RISING, I GOTTA GET BACK!!" The illager runs off to the outpost, knowing they will meet again after the following raids.
