UnderArchived: Skelebros From Undertale, Chapter 0: The Beginning

Interesting; although the only thing that bugged me was sans name being capitalised. Bar that, very, very interesting

ight, so I'll make it with lowercase in later chapters

Yaya!

also how's the story?
is it a bit jammed?

The flow is relatively fine, though it picks up a bit too fast at a few points, like sans’ intro and him falling from the sky

yeah, that's prob because I only did story stuff with textboxes instead of doc like this

also my inexperience would count-

Fair enough (might as well start SCPTale myself)

Yaya!

But where to write it? Idk

Google doc
or make a new page in the Understream wiki for that

A Google doc? Or a new page? Yaya!
(Wubboc seriously needs to make categories now)

Your choice ;)

So you made it in Google docs?

yee lol- (that explains why some gaps are too big)

Fairenough bruh. I already got an intro for it in my head

Dam Nice

Yaya!

Yaya!

also update on swimsuit stuff yet again, I'm now doing the hair one :3

NOICE!!!

XD (mika)

(mind telling me more about this expression?)
Yaya!, what do you think of the hair?

(Lmao. Can be interpreted as happy, excited, or turned on)
It good bruh!

Alright. :]
it would takes 2 more weeks btw- (I don't have enough time to add a lot of stuffs in the weekdays)

I’ll wait no problem bruh

Yaya!

Lmao

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

Bruhmao

E
also would you smash her-

*We would rather wait to see the finished product. Ask us then

Very good bruh! I quite enjoyed that!

Silver haired girl? Blue scarf? Bicycle?
...
No idea who that is (best emoji i can find closest to Asgore smug smile:😏)

😏
(YAY!-
also are there any bad stuffs that I can fix?)

I felt like it was fine. Red’s advice is good, and you’ll get a better feel for writing over time.
But yeah, good start Bruhski!
“We shall watch your career with great interest” - Me (also Palpatine)

:D
also the snas falling one is kind of similar to
*Susie's idea ,but instead it's "*MC's idea" 😏

hehe

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Are there any bad stuffs that I can fix?

Snas rarely uses capitals. There's some exceptions, but basically just always use lowercase.
"Heavy breathing" would be better in the action instead of in the dialogue, as "he takes a few deep breaths." Or "he breathes heavily."
It goes a bit fast at points, but I think that's fine. I don't think that's how Gaster Blasters work, but again, it's fine

yeh, pf told me about using capitals in snas's dialogue, it's just that my hand automatically click shift :skull:
also for blaster thing, think it of AU sans's one instead of OG sans's
the blaster in this chapter worked like how Killer! Sans used his blaster in the battle against Dream! Sans in Underverse 0.6

also "𝙐𝘼-𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 0𝘼" is on the way =) (Papyrus's one)

:D

This time, Paps won't fall from the sky like snas lmao-

Does he look like this? /j

Nah, but this

Since you made VFU!Sans sprites, are you gonna make sprites for Papyrus as well?

I will...
well if I got access back to demi (frick my internet and the vpn)

Dam

bruhelp

It’s not as bad as I thought

found the redesigned one-

Much better but his head reminds me of the new Cap America (Sam Wilson)

bru-

It’s my opinion bruh

lmao

Bruhmao