I lost my virginity 15 years ago, and I still Google her name hoping she became a porn star.
Time to get this off my chest. It’s been 15 damn years. And I’m still clinging to the dumbest fantasy a man can have.
I lost my virginity in college to a gorgeous redhead, way out of my league. I was awkward, shaking, had zero idea what I was doing. But mid-thrust, my idiot brain whispered:
“What if she ends up doing porn someday? Then I could say I f**ked a porn star.”
Not exactly a romantic thought to have for my first love. But a honest one.
She’s a lawyer now. Married. Two kids. Still no porn. I Google her name once or twice a year like some pathetic tradition.
Still nothing.
Meanwhile, I’m divorced, drunk, and balls-deep in a Fleshlight named Creampuff, clinging to the saddest pipe dream imaginable.
