The problem is not the religion. The problem is narcissism. There are people who believe it is their right to control other people. Religion, government and any other groups or organizations are the tools those people use.
Right now today's narcissistic control freaks have dominated the Democrat party. Since Marx's spouted is nonsense the control freaks have left religion and now want the government to have that control over people. Now religion is a nuisance to them. So they point to their ideological predecessors who used religion to control people as the problem with religion. It is not, with the exception of Islam. Islam has several commandments in their Quran to kill the unbelievers, specifically Jews. I very much unlike the Bible, those commandments are still in force. The Bible never gave any commandments to kill everyone it perpetuity.
It is when you understand that the teachings of all of God, Jesus, the prophets, the apostles and the letters from Paul do not teach control. It is all about freedom. It is their teachings that deeply inspired the founding fathers to give us the freest nation to have ever existed.
When you fully understand freedom then if someone disagrees with you then you just let it go. It is not your right or responsibility to change their minds. Even if you think they are wrong.
But that isn't what leftists are about. If you don't march in lockstep with them then they cancel you. You are called a nazi, a fascist, a bigot and about 5 other standard insults (because they can't think of anything else).
With regards to what you said about your Pentecostal family, not all parents have all of the answers. Most of them are just winging it. Some do a good job and some are awful. Then there are the parents who abuse their children, sexually, physically and/or emotionally. Some parents use religion to hide behind to try to justify their behavior. But that doesn't mean there aren't atheist parents who do the same things. The percentages are not higher in religious families. I haven't researched it but I would think atheist parents would be the most screwed up.