Oh my lord, I am so very sorry. I know that horrible, horrible feeling of guilt that stays with you forever...when I thought I could have prevented it if only I had done (fill in the blank). I know what it's like to fall to the floor: it's a weird feeling. Can't help it, either. The fact that you and I can feel so deeply about the loss of an animal means we have been given a very special quality... A gift. It doesn't mean we are weak. It means we have been allowed the privilege to see into that area where mankind and nature talk to one a other. It's a very small window. We are lucky. And, it also means we carry sorrow for animals. They need us to carry some of it or they wouldn't be happy which means they wouldn't survive. I love nature. I am amazed by animals and insects. It's quite a different world than the human world. So if I have to feel sad now and again, I'll take it. I'd rather see through that window, you know?