Falsus Deus in homine - Prologue and Oc Introduction

Honest opinion incoming, do not take offense

The way the story was a little mid but the idea is interesting

I accept the opinion but the f**k is your english?
"The way the story was a little mid"

Shit typo

The way the story was written

The way the story was written was simply cause it's a first person narrator. And he's like 5 in the first part and 15 in the second, he don't know lots of words

I understand, it was still a little weird in some segments though, like interrupting the kid to explain the state of the mother, it would have had more impact if the kid was describing it. Also maybe more detail as to how he gained more followers, he saved one dude, then gained 200 followers, was a little weird.

I really like the concept though, the idea of him gaining power from his followers believing he has power is kinda paradoxical in a cool way and I think this could be fire if done right.

I aint no novel writer.
I interrupted the kid narrator because such a dramatic and intense moment would have been too much for him to describe.

The 1 to around 100 followers or 200 i forgot, was because it was a time skip

Just some criticism is all

this is really cool

Only dude that commented

May 1st 3023 - Some isolated town in Norway

Me and my mom live together, my dad left when I was small, I mean smaller than I am now!!...
Mom and dad never argued, but one day they did… and then dad left… but mom stayed with me.
Mom always told me that she loved me a lot, I also loved her a lot.
We loved gardening, I especially loved the pumpkins!! Mom teached me how to use the tools, I am an expert now!
But today when we were eating, everything was shaking! I was really scared and Mom hugged me very tight.
Then it stopped.
Today we did not go out in the garden, even though I wasn't scared of …..! What was it called… earfqake?

But then it happened again! But it was much longer, I was very scared…
Things started falling from the sky… big rocks that made big booms around our house!!

Mom told me to hide so I ran to where she always told me to hide when we were in danger…
But then a big rock hit our house!!! Mom was stuck under the rock… she told me to run…

But I didn't want to leave her…
I tried to help her, I lifted a big stone!! To show that I am strong!! But mom told me it was okay and that I should run… but boom! Another rock hit our house!
I went flying and hit the wall, but I ran back to mom…
She wasn't awake, but I tried to wake her up!!
I cried… a lot… i yelled “Moom!! Moooom!!!! MOOOM!!!!”
but Mom didn't wake up…

Then, outside the window, I saw two people flying in the sky, I was very surprised but in a good way? I don't know what it's called…
And then a big tall boom of light!! It was very bright… i was very surprised, it was amazing!!
Then the roof fell on me…

“Hey there's a kid under here!”

“Call an ambulance, get that kid out of the rubble!”

I woke up and a man wearing funny red clothes helped me. I think he was a firefighter, like those toys mom gave me!
He grabbed my hand, and I looked around for mom.
I saw her…

To describe the atrocity the poor kid had to observe, I must temporarily interviene to describe it.
His mother's body laid under a large meteorite, the size of a common dinner table, but that wasn't the worst. One of the frames of the ceiling perforated her skull.
As soon as the men realised, since the boy was partially covering the sight of the mother, they quickly tried to bring the boy away, but the screams of the child, yelling for his mother, gave goosebumps to all the men. The child ran to the mother, trying to “wake her up”. The firefighter quickly grabbed him and brought him onto an ambulance, his eyes full of tears, his face still yearning for his mother…
Now, we shall go back to the previous narration.

I really wanted to go to mom!!! I realy wnated to help hr!!! I couldnt leeave her therre!!!!! … I cried… a lot… the firefighter told me it's okay… but mom is still there…
Right?

Ten years later…
February 20th 3033, some city in Norway

I grew up an orphan, and long lost the will to live. My Mother was the only thing in my life, and that was taken away. I didn't care if I had money, a house, a loving family… All I wanted was my Mom…

While walking in the park, I heard some people talk(or discuss… I'm still learning to talk better…) about gods, “divine magic” and other stuff. I was curious, I heard there was a magician in town, a famous one. I loved magic, so I went to see it.

It was super fun! But after the show I went to ask him a question…
“You know a lot about magic”
“Of course! I'm Jonathan The Great Magician! Is there something you want to know?”
“... Can you… make people… alive again?”
He seemed nervous, sweaty, he stopped before responding(i think it's called “hesitating”).
“W-Well uh… You know very well that I am the best magician in the world! But… there's things I can't do… But I know there's someone or something out there that could do what you asked me!”
Whatever he said after didn't matter to me. My life, that could go away any moment suddenly didn't want to go away. I had… hope… I believed there was something out there that could bring Her back… no…
I knew there was something… I am sure there was.

And so I searched, I studied.
I found books in Latin. I couldn't read latin, so I studied it and read the books.
I found greek books, but I couldn't read greek, so I studied it and read the books.
I found arabic books, but I couldn't read arab, so I studied it and read the books.
…
Nothing. They gave me answers, but not the right ones.

A year passed.
Another magician came to town, he looked like Jonathan, but he was younger, and apparently knew much more.

I visited him, talked to him, got useless answers.
“How can one bring people back from the dead? Is it possible?”
“Huh? Well, I certainly cant!”
I started to walk away
“But I heard powerful divinities can! Maybe if you ask them they'll help you, but I doubt they would help, especially you haha!”

I was furious, why wouldn't they listen to me?! Why not me??
I walked out but a man stopped me. He said he was a librarian and wanted to offer me a book.
A book about Faith and Divinities.
He gave it to me, without wanting anything in return… I asked him where he found it and he simply said “Well from a library!”.

I took it home, my “parents” asked me where I was all evening and I ignored them as always.

I started studying…

“Faith in religion is powerful. Ancient Gods possessed much more power than they do now because of it. Many populations firmly believed in them, therefore their power grew greater.”
Mmm interesting…
“Certain divinities and immortal beings can revive the dead, such as Gaia and Mors”
Ah…
“Faith is powerful because the more the subject believes, the more it's true to them. When such a belief is strong enough, it becomes a reality, and will grow stronger the more the subject believes or if there are more believers. But when the subject's belief disappears, so does whatever they believed in.”
…

I had my answers. But a new question.
I recalled what the librarian told me.
“This book should answer all your questions! And if you got more just ask the book!”

…
“Can i… become… a god…?”
I picked up the book and yelled at it
“CAN I BECOME A GOD???”

The ink on the pages disappeared and new text appeared.

“A mortal could become immortal achieving a “False True God” through the power of faith of their believers.”
“If they gather enough followers or their followers grow their faith, they can achieve divine power exponential to the faith of the mortal’s believers”

That was it. I had a goal, a hope. My life that I was ready to throw down the waste now had meaning.
But how could I achieve such a goal? People won't believe in me if I can't do anything.

I slept, the night felt shorter than usual, as if I couldn't wait for the next day…

As soon as I woke up, I got dressed, ate something for breakfast and ran outside.
If I wanted to gain followers, I would need to have some sort of powers. I heard you can ask wizards and sorcerers to give you their power.
I stole my “mother's” wallet just for that.

I reached a wizard, paid them, and got the power. I don't remember much because of my excitement.
And so, I waited for some poor soul to be cornered, maybe by bullies or gangsters.
And such happened.

“Please please! D-Dont kill me! I-I beg of you!”

“You insulted my brother, I thought the corpses around the streets made it clear you shouldn't mess with my family”

The poor guy got on his knees, holding a photo of his family. I heard him faintly praying for help, if there was a god out there. And then, I intervened.

Before those men hurt that guy, I jumped down and blasted them with my magic the wizard gave me. I killed every single one, I had to gain followers.
The poor guy looked up and saw me, white robes like if they came straight out of ancient Greece. Don't judge me, it's hard to find “divine” looking clothes…

“W-what? Who… are you?”

“I am your God, you pleaded for help and I responded”
He was weak minded, easy to manipulate.
“W-what??”

I offered him my hand.
“I am your Lord, your King, I will protect you and help you”
He was…silent, looking at me in awe. Then, out of the blue, he grabbed my hand sobbing and thanked me. At this point I didn't know what else to say, I only revised the previous part.
“Uh- Go. Spread the word. Your Savior has come”

With that, thanking me once more, the man went away happy like he just won the lottery.
Just like that, thanks to those powers and that man spreading the word, I was able to gain around 100 followers in 2 days.
Then, while I was doing a meeting with all my believers, the wizard came back to take my powers. And he did. I couldn't stop him, I asked for the powers and he agreed that I could have them for only 2 days.

…
I looked at my hands, I thought it was all over. But then, a little sparkle caught my eye. In my hands, a little ball of light… I think it was divine…

I don't need those wizard's powers anymore. I have my own, thanks to my followers. I don't care how many people die, how many people die for me. I don't care if people suffer…
I will do anything to get my Mom back…
That anything is gaining power through faith, and to gain the followers faith I'll do anything to help them.