hey.
I know what you're going through, im a soft person as well.
But I've learnt to not be soft, because in the city i live you have to be tough.
I think that your grandma isn't probably the best, sure you were up at 3:15, and you shouldn't be up that late, but still, she can take away something you enjoy doing.
Suicide isn't an option, it's not the last resort.
Dont even think about it. What do i do from keeping myself from suicide? I think how the world would be without me, how my parents would be, my siblings, my family, my friends.
Even God wouldnt be happy with you.
Your life is precious, don't take it away.
-James :D