In one sense, we can both acknowledge that part of this disagreement is semantics. My generation used the terms sex and gender as synonymous, where as politics has caused both terms to be used differently, but neither with clarity. This is part of my complaint. You can decide to redefine a word, but it's invalid to then tell me I'm using it wrong, whereas it remains valid for me to say you're using the word wrong until there is a majority acceptance of the new use, and there is far from majority acceptance of the new definitions.
You attempt to claim that the subjective gender identity is harder to change than the objective physical gender, or they wouldn't go under the knife to make the body match their heart, but in doing so, aren't you again acknowledging that gender is physical? One doesn't get surgery to become a vegan, or a Jew, or a Lakers fan. And a woman doesn't become a trans male by getting breast implants. Even the kind of surgery supports a traditional definition of male vs female.
Furthermore, you need to find some solid stats on trans experience. The majority of young trans identifying people eventually grow out of it. The majority never go as far as drugs and surgery. But even those that do remain self loathing and suicidal even a decade after the surgery. There is a growing community of detransitioners on social media trying to correct the lies that convinced them to get surgery or hormones in the first place. I suggest you hear it from their own mouths. It's not hard to find on YouTube, though you will need to have an open mind.
As for changing ones sexual orientation, I hate to degrade your pristine opinion of me, but I've heard too many people telling the tale of becoming gay, which often involves abandoning their wife and children, and far too many people telling the tale of choosing to leave their homosexual lifestyles, which they describe as being liberated.