I WON’T BE COMPETING IN ANY SPORT, BUT I’M WEIGHING THE PROS AND CONS OF BECOMING A TRANSGENDER WOMAN; I CAN BE TALLER BY WEARING HIGH HEELS; A MAN WILL OPEN DOORS SO I WON’T HAVE TO TOUCH THAT YUCKY HANDLE; I GET INTO A LIFE BOAT FIRST; I’LL NEVER CHANGE ANOTHER FLAT TIRE; I CAN BE FLIRTY AND GET FREE COCKTAILS; I CAN CRY TO GET OUT OF TRAFFIC TICKETS; BUT I’M NOT SURE I CAN HOLD IN BURPS AND FARTS