FOR STUDENTS WORRIED THEIR TEACHERS HAVE GONE CRAZY ABOUT GENDER IDENTITY OR CLIMATE CHANGE; "So the principal has never heard of ionizing radiation huh?"; "Remember children, this will help you survive a multi-megaton nuclear blast!"; "Do I have to die with Henry's ass in my face?"; "Survive? Wanna bet?"; "Yeah, now only my back will be incinerated. Good idea!"; DON'T WORRY, TEACHERS HAVE BEEN DELUSIONAL FOR DECADES